The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
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Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
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Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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