he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
