So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
