Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
