it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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