and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
