so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
