No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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