This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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