I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize