Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
