I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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