Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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