You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
