he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize