Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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