Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
