he shaved USA in his pubs
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
