I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
