She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
