we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
