dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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