bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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