32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
