@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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