ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
