would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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