I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
