I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
