Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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