Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
