so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
