3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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