i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
