Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
