i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
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No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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