You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
