Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
