That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
