you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize