i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
