you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
