My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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