she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
