you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
did i just pee glitter
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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