Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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