did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
they're like a gay fantastic four
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
