Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
