I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
