so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
