well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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