Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
