I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize