would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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