No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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