he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
