the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
