took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
