i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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