It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
