So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
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They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
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i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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