i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
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EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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