i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
she told me i tasted like america
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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