I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
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He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
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You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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