I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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