I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
