help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize