This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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