Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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