8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
