If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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