Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
