I'm gonna have a badass scar
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We have so much sex to catch up on
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
