how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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